oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
