We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
