I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
