you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
