wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
