He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
