Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He felt like a one man threesome
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
