She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
