I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
