They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
