Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I have post one night stand depression
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