I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
