the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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