Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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