I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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