Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
ttyl tear gas
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
