Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
