Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
