I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
