I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
