Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
