i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
