first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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