This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
