this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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