just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i barfeds in our rink
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
