she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
