I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
