he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
