The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
