Sry I called you an 8
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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