I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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