You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
