Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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