Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
