and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
