I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We just shotgunned beers for America
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
