Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
