Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
