Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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