There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
