I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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