I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
