She's JV to your varsity
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
