So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
