you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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