so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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