we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
