So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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