she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
